Matt Lavine

The Talking John Birch Society – nee Tea Party – Paranoid Blues

Well, I was feelin’ sad and feelin’ blue
I didn’t know what in the world I wus gonna do
The Goverment wus comin’ around
Trying to stick my grandmom in the ground

So I run down most hurriedly
And joined up with the Tea Par-ty
Some of us don’t agree with Hitler’s views
But the Supreme Court has too many Jews
Just ask good ol’ Pat Buchanan!

Well, as anyone can see on FOX, Obama is just not one of us
Limbaugh, Hannity, and Beck is where I spend my time
Learning that health care for the sick is a government crime
The conspiracy is in plain view
if you just ignore the evening news

Sean says McVeigh was a model for what is right
Beck says that Obama hates his momma cause she’s white
Next thing the Tea Party will say about General George
is that he faked everything at Valley Forge

Well, the Internet tells me all the people that I know
Ninety-eight percent of them gotta go
The other two percent are okay
they’re angry and white just like me

Now Eisenhower was a Commie spy
Lincoln, Roosevelt, and LBJ
all tried to take my freedom away
There’s just one really true American: Sarah Palin
I know she loves America because she supported Alaska seceding from the Union.

Well, I fin’ly started thinkin’ straight
When I run outa things to investigate
Couldn’t imagine doin’ anything else
So now I’m sittin’ home investigatin’ myself!
Hope I don’t find out anything . . .